So, it's that time again...finals week. And so to prolong my studying a little longer, I decided to update my blog again. I realized it has been almost 6 months since I last posted and well, a lot has happened since then. Pretty much everything that defines my life right now has happened! I am going to get totally cheesy on here for a minute (but it is my blog and I can do that) and talk about someone very important to me. If you follow me on Facebook or Instagram then you probably know where this is heading and I am giving you permission to skip ahead and avoid things you have most likely repeatedly seen or read already. So there is Dakota...yeah did not see him coming haha! A lot of people ask me how we met and to keep it short we were in the same LDS stake back when I lived in TN and he lived in MS years ago. I thought he was super cute, just like all the other girls did, but he was totally infatuated with another girl. Besides, I didn't care all too much about it because I was "dating" someone else at the time. Anyways, he moved to Florida and I moved to Utah but in June he made the move out here to Orem to start attending school. He saw that I was living out here and asked if I wanted to meet up for lunch and I obliged and the rest, so far, is history. Dakota and I are now dating and loving every single second of it. We literally see each other every single day at some point, whether it's for a hour or a whole day, unless certain circumstances don't allow. (Like right now where he is in Florida for 10 days until I fly out there. It is the longest we have gone these past 6 months without seeing each other and it hasn't even been 24 hours and I have already cried. I am writing this post to help me KEEP. IT. TOGETHER.)
Now, that date where I made him fall completely head over heels for me was June 17th and today so happens to be December 17th so I guess you would say that today is our 6 month anniversary (if we aren't getting all technical)! *typical Mormon girl love rant starts now* So...Happy Six Months, Dakota! You know how to drive me up a wall and push my buttons, but you also know how to make me smile, relax and see the light at the end of the tunnel. You always encourage me to try my best and to become the person that I hope of being and you always forgive me when I make mistakes. When I am hard on myself, you always are there to give me a hug and to help me get back on my feet. I have told Dakota a few times that one thing I have learned and love about him is that he truly has the biggest and sweetest heart of any guy I have met. I even joke with him that he is too sensitive and emotional and I am the man in the relationship. But in all honesty, he would do anything for me and for anyone else he loves and cares about. The way he looks at me and how he tells me all the time that he is lucky really makes me the lucky and feel like a queen. Every girl deserves a guy like Dakota, someone who adores and respects them and wants to give them the world plus more. So thank you Dakota for all that you have taught me and done for me these last six months. *typical Mormon girl love rant ends here*
Ohhhkay. Lets see. In September I ended my job at Charlotte Russe and started a new job at H&M that just opened here in Orem. It is definitely different than CR, but I love it. I would be lying if I said that it wasn't overwhelming at first considering it is significantly different in size and you have people practically trampling over you among other things going on at once. I wanted to give up and quit, but the thing is..I didn't and I am so happy that that is the case. I work with some of the funniest people and have a lot of other benefits that I would've just thrown away. This is just another challenge that I have learned from that has strengthened me and taught me a lesson and I am so grateful for that.
I was also in school this past semester at BYU. I do not have much to say about it except for that it was extremely hard/tiring and such an emotional time for me. I know I probably say that after every semester but seriously props to those who actually make it 4+ years at BYU. It kicks butt, in both good and bad ways. Oh, and don't take Econ 110 from Kearl. Trust me.
Now it is the holiday season again, my favorite time of year, and I just want to share and express my thanks to everyone who has helped me along these past 6 months. My family, Dakota, my awesome roommates who also happen to be my best friends and just random people who smiled at me or brightened my day with kind words that were said. I seriously could not have done it without you (or I just would have lost my mind and made some stupid mistakes). I am also so grateful for my D&C teacher, Brother Anthony Sweat, who taught an amazing class this semester. He inspired me so much and helped to strengthen my testimony by bringing the Spirit into his class and saying the most amazing, beautiful things. I love my Heavenly Father and my brother Jesus Christ. If there is anything I continue to learn day by day, week by week in my life it is that they are always there. Whether we fall, stumble, break or lose our way, they still love us, want the best for us and support us. I would not be here after these past six months without them.
Merry Christmas!
-Deanna
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
Monday, June 24, 2013
People are People
Over the last few weeks, I have had many opportunities to talk and deal with different people. It has been such a learning experience realizing the different backgrounds and lives that people come from, both in and outside of Utah. Several months ago, before having these different contacts and experiences, I was a girl that I would say was so judgmental of others and would just shut out anything or anyone presented to me that I thought was not right or different from what I believed. Little did I know that I was turning away opportunities and experiences that could teach me so much. As I have been around new people at work and in my friendships and relationships, I have met some great people! And these great people are people who never in my head would I have thought to be seen with or have friendships come out of it. As I have slowly opened up to being more accepting, I have learned that just because someone talks differently than I do, makes different decisions, or looks "interesting" to me does not mean I should instantly judge them and rule them out of ever having contact or some sort of communication.
Through letting these individuals in, I have learned that I am actually a pretty accepting and understanding person...and to be honest, people like that (I mean who doesn't?) It breaks the norm that is here in Utah and I find it pretty satisfying and boosting to my confidence that people might actually think that about me around here and they trust me! They trust me enough to tell me their story and not be shunned or looked down upon.
I feel like sometimes I kind of ramble on my posts and struggle to gather all my thoughts into the words that I would like to use. So I guess one of the other points I wanted to make is that people are just...people. There was a quote on Pinterest that I saw the other day that for some reason just really struck me and all it was saying was what I just said, Don't get nervous. People are just people. If we like them, we can continue to have them in our lives and if we don't they don't have to be there! I guess that is how I have been becoming more outgoing and friendly towards others. I love getting to know people and learning that even the people we think are the best or have the perfect life, really have a past or struggles like I do or like you do. When I learn this about people, it really just enhances my knowledge and appreciation for what I do know in this life and what I do have. It helps me to realize that I am human and it is okay for me to make mistakes because guess what, I am not the only one. And it is even okay to admit them! I look up to people so much more and just sit and think about them and admire them so much for so many things. I am just so grateful for people...to be surrounded in an area with such different culture and backgrounds and I am so grateful to learn and have a glimpse into the lives of others. I am grateful for those who have been the example of acceptance and showing me that it is okay to let your guard down and just hear people out. Of course it is important to "righteously" judge and know where your standards and boundaries are but if you don't agree with them, it is okay. That is life. There is never going to be a time where people will agree with you 100% on everything that you believe...but that doesn't mean you shut them out and show them the door. You can control what people you let in your life and who you let influence it. You live, you learn and you grow.
Through letting these individuals in, I have learned that I am actually a pretty accepting and understanding person...and to be honest, people like that (I mean who doesn't?) It breaks the norm that is here in Utah and I find it pretty satisfying and boosting to my confidence that people might actually think that about me around here and they trust me! They trust me enough to tell me their story and not be shunned or looked down upon.
I feel like sometimes I kind of ramble on my posts and struggle to gather all my thoughts into the words that I would like to use. So I guess one of the other points I wanted to make is that people are just...people. There was a quote on Pinterest that I saw the other day that for some reason just really struck me and all it was saying was what I just said, Don't get nervous. People are just people. If we like them, we can continue to have them in our lives and if we don't they don't have to be there! I guess that is how I have been becoming more outgoing and friendly towards others. I love getting to know people and learning that even the people we think are the best or have the perfect life, really have a past or struggles like I do or like you do. When I learn this about people, it really just enhances my knowledge and appreciation for what I do know in this life and what I do have. It helps me to realize that I am human and it is okay for me to make mistakes because guess what, I am not the only one. And it is even okay to admit them! I look up to people so much more and just sit and think about them and admire them so much for so many things. I am just so grateful for people...to be surrounded in an area with such different culture and backgrounds and I am so grateful to learn and have a glimpse into the lives of others. I am grateful for those who have been the example of acceptance and showing me that it is okay to let your guard down and just hear people out. Of course it is important to "righteously" judge and know where your standards and boundaries are but if you don't agree with them, it is okay. That is life. There is never going to be a time where people will agree with you 100% on everything that you believe...but that doesn't mean you shut them out and show them the door. You can control what people you let in your life and who you let influence it. You live, you learn and you grow.
Monday, May 20, 2013
Dealing With Disappointment
It has been a really long time since I last posted...and I mean REALLY. A lot has happened to me over the past 6 months and today has just been one of those days where I feel the pressure of every single thing in my life on my shoulders. I don't know if it is the weather that has gotten me in this mood or what, but I think it is about time I start writing again.
1. BYU: I started my first semester at BYU in January and lets just say it was definitely a different experience from Idaho. I decided to live at home with my parents to help save some money on my end and also to help get myself adjusted since I didn't really know what my experience was going to be like. I am glad that I decided to live at home even though it didn't feel like I lived there and there were the times where I just wanted to be the average college kid living on their own. It was a rough semester. There is no denying that. It was so much harder than where I was at previous semesters and I was working 20-30 hours (depending on the week) on top of 15 credit hours. I have never had to juggle anything like that before so it was all one big learning experience in so many ways. Now, I would be lying to myself if I didn't say that I was, and still am, very disappointed in myself. I feel like that because things got so hard for me, that I just started giving up. I stopped believing in myself, my goals and my ambitions. I stopped caring about my studies and my education because in my mind I had every right to. As a result, my grades slipped and the rest I can't take care of or fix now and boy, I sure am dealing with the consequences now. "Why should a 20 year old girl have to worry about so many things?" is what I keep thinking in my head. I should be having the fun and the experiences like I have always pictured in my head. But you know what, that is not how life works. No matter how many times I picture and see things in my head, it never comes out that way. I will never take that huge cross country road trip with friends where you just roll the windows down and sing the whole way. I will probably never move to LA and attend FIDM. And it all continues to be one big disappointment to me. So now I have come to the struggle of dealing with disappointment. I am not trying to be a downer, just expressing the things I have been feeling in a healthy way. I know that things in my life just aren't going to happen, that is not how it works. No matter what the movies and the shows say, you have to make things happen for yourself in life. So now I have to figure out what I am going to do to keep myself moving forward to where I want to be and where I want to go. Things are discouraging and disappointing but that shouldn't keep me from continuing on in life. That is all I really can do right now.
So as I figure out how to deal with the things that are constantly thrown at me and my feelings, I am going to try and stay positive. Here are a few things:
-The friends I do have, they make me happy and are the type of people I have been wanting in my life to help make it different!
-I have the opportunity to get an education and challenge myself. Even though this can really suck (like for me still trying to figure out what I want to do) so many people would love to go to college and earn a degree.
-I have a job that supports me. It is not always the best, but it has been a job that I enjoy and that has helped me financially and in different aspects of my personality.
-Today was a beautiful day. Everything is so green and in bloom and makes me want to be outside as much as I can.
1. BYU: I started my first semester at BYU in January and lets just say it was definitely a different experience from Idaho. I decided to live at home with my parents to help save some money on my end and also to help get myself adjusted since I didn't really know what my experience was going to be like. I am glad that I decided to live at home even though it didn't feel like I lived there and there were the times where I just wanted to be the average college kid living on their own. It was a rough semester. There is no denying that. It was so much harder than where I was at previous semesters and I was working 20-30 hours (depending on the week) on top of 15 credit hours. I have never had to juggle anything like that before so it was all one big learning experience in so many ways. Now, I would be lying to myself if I didn't say that I was, and still am, very disappointed in myself. I feel like that because things got so hard for me, that I just started giving up. I stopped believing in myself, my goals and my ambitions. I stopped caring about my studies and my education because in my mind I had every right to. As a result, my grades slipped and the rest I can't take care of or fix now and boy, I sure am dealing with the consequences now. "Why should a 20 year old girl have to worry about so many things?" is what I keep thinking in my head. I should be having the fun and the experiences like I have always pictured in my head. But you know what, that is not how life works. No matter how many times I picture and see things in my head, it never comes out that way. I will never take that huge cross country road trip with friends where you just roll the windows down and sing the whole way. I will probably never move to LA and attend FIDM. And it all continues to be one big disappointment to me. So now I have come to the struggle of dealing with disappointment. I am not trying to be a downer, just expressing the things I have been feeling in a healthy way. I know that things in my life just aren't going to happen, that is not how it works. No matter what the movies and the shows say, you have to make things happen for yourself in life. So now I have to figure out what I am going to do to keep myself moving forward to where I want to be and where I want to go. Things are discouraging and disappointing but that shouldn't keep me from continuing on in life. That is all I really can do right now.
So as I figure out how to deal with the things that are constantly thrown at me and my feelings, I am going to try and stay positive. Here are a few things:
-The friends I do have, they make me happy and are the type of people I have been wanting in my life to help make it different!
-I have the opportunity to get an education and challenge myself. Even though this can really suck (like for me still trying to figure out what I want to do) so many people would love to go to college and earn a degree.
-I have a job that supports me. It is not always the best, but it has been a job that I enjoy and that has helped me financially and in different aspects of my personality.
-Today was a beautiful day. Everything is so green and in bloom and makes me want to be outside as much as I can.
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